5 days ago
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Credits
The car park
Whoa. There’s that Beamer. Used to dream of it. Not anymore. Life’s been good without it.
I can hear the chimes. It’s six already?
Hey! Nice asphalt!
The second floor
This is it.
The third floor
Is that it? Always thought there’d be more to it. Just go with the flow, I guess.
The sixth floor
Friends are great. Friends kick you in the butt when you’re wrong. Or, even, sometimes when you’re not. But that don’t matter. They’re friends, at the end of the day. I still love him.
The ninth floor
I think I know why he did it. I probably deserved it.
The tenth floor
Must’ve been about that night when…But, he got it all wrong. It was just... too… petty. Petty! Ironic.
The twelfth floor
Where are the flashes?
The thirteenth floor
Can’t believe he did it. What was he thinking? I’ll find a way to get back to him. Question is, how?
The sixteenth floor
Gaah, I’m so mad. There’s so much left to do, and now this!
The eighteenth floor
There he is. I can see him standing at the ledge on the top, looking down at me. Is that a look of guilt on his face? It better be. Hah.
The terrace
The rendezvous begins as planned. He charges at me.
“How dare you,” he asks.
“Why not,” I reply.
“You never understood, did you? All you did was run behind riches…
…It’s called running behind your dreams, dude.” I interrupt.
He isn’t budging. “Do you have any idea how pointless this all is?
I don’t like fiddling with safety catches. But that’s what I’m doing now. I shout back first.
“That’s the reason you told on me? Because you couldn’t get the point of it all?”
“Yes. Yes. But you won’t know it. Not till you are nearing the end, anyway.”
“End?” The catch's unlocked now.
"Yeah. You start off disgruntled. But then, you go with the flow, and as it happens, you grow… happier.” Is that an almost-smile I see?
“When WHAT happens?” I have my finger across the business end now.
“The beginning. Of the…
I haven’t noticed he’s moved closed to me. And I, close to the ledge.
“…end.” He finishes with a push.
I can only grab at the thin air. And his watch. It says one minute to six.
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My first attempt at fiction. I resisted the temptation for long, but yield happened. So here goes:
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14 comments:
ooo its all very 'pulp fiction'
should have been longer, definitely!
BUT whats with the safety locks?
i dont think ive quite gotten what its all about
@Meg: Sorry, my bad. I meant safety catches (as in guns). Made the changes now.
my god, that's a dire ending. i'd hate to get the pointlessness of it all at the end!
yeeeew. nice and menacing.
i liked the " i have my finger over the business end now." super cool.
@mentalie: yeah, you get the pointlessness in the end, when you realize the end itself is pointless.
@AGG: menacing was not the objective, but it ended/started that way.
though pulp fiction is the inspiration for the content, the reverse-chrono was obviously from memento. and a nod to..erm... johnny gaddar - where the opening scene is of the protagonist getting killed. we just don't know it that's all.
now i do!
suddenly i read the whole story in a new light.
you see i didn't quite get the suicide angle before,
then i thought
'oh wait why did it say one minute
to six'
and everything falls into place
nicely done! ;)
@meg. thanks.
"read the whole story in new light." is that a reference to my comment on your life spectrum post? ;)
btw, there's no suicide angle (atleast not an intended one). he carries the gun just in case his friend acts tough, but gets pushed off the building before he can use it. so the "gun" along with the beamer becomes a metaphor for "pointlessly-mundane".
good story, i think it should have been little longer
was wondering how to make this longer. i cheated on the fall, it couldn't have been a minute anyways. plus the terrace scene couldn't be elongated too much so as sustain the initial thread of thought.
Pointless or not, pulp fiction or not, it is still interesting reading. I holds your attention. Looking forward to more stuff from you.
@QQ. Glad you liked it. Thanks for dropping by.
Nice story...liked it
needed a second read too myself before i got it.
and got the Wow !
@Jane. Yeah i thought the twist was a bit too subtle. but decided to leave it that way. was wanting to know if this made sense even as a straightforward timeline.
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